Imperfect “Quiet time”

Every Christian I have ever met gives them self a guilt trip for not having a proper or frequent “quiet time”. I think we somehow think if the earth doesn’t shake and our bible doesn’t levitate while praying then we didn’t do it right.

I certainly feel a little inadequate discussing a subject of how to grow in your relationship with the God of the entire universe. So don’t take this as a “how to guide” rather than just what works for one imperfect girl.

My quiet time has taken many forms. I have learned which ways I learn best, and in which ways just put me to sleep. In this stage of life my ideal quiet time looks like this:

First let me say the holy bible app has been the best thing that ever happend to my quiet time. I will talk more about that in a second but if you don’t have that on any “Smart gadget” get it!

Get up, head to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal (yes I eat before I do anything else) I bring my cereal to the couch where the house is still quiet. I have the “holy bible” app on my phone. I read the verse of the day (provided by the app) and write it in my journal. I repeat it a few times, write anything I feel God telling me through this. Often I write a prayer for what is on my mind and mostly WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR. I then sit in silence a few minuets just marinating on this.

After the kids have woken up, eaten breakfast and happy with a cartoon, I listen to the audio version of the “multiply reading plan” (also on the bible app) by David Platt and Francis Chan I can listen to it from my phone while I get dressed and ready. The audio feature on this is app is, my friends, AWESOMENESS.

Not only do I learn so much more LISTENING to such a good story teller, but I can also listen while driving or folding clothes, putting on makeup, or any other mundane task.

And lastly, On the way to pre-school, the kids and I sing (at the top of our lungs) YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS by gungor.

This happens on ideal mornings. Not every morning. This is also just what works for this stage of life. It wasn’t too long ago I was up all night with a baby and waking up even 30 seconds earlier than I had to was completely out of the question.

On days where I have stayed up too late or in a crazy rush, I can still listen to the audio version of the bible in the car. Listening/reading scripture really does have a way of setting the mood of the day.

At a bare minimum, when I can do nothing else, I sing a few song lyrics (in my head less anyone runs in terror) of this song that just permeates everything I am passionate about. These are they lyrics from a part of Hillsong’s Hoseanna song:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

If I could have theme music I would want it to be this. Repeating this as my “mantra” helps me to live up to my theme music.

In different stages of life and in different context our time with God may look differently. Sometimes it is just sitting outside and marveling at his creativity, making a list of all of our blessings, CHOOSING to be happy when circumstances are less than ideal, or journaling our prayers.

The short of the story is this: Studying God’s word is absolutely important, sharing life and being built up by other believers is absolutely important. But the intimacy that comes from just you and God, together with no one else around is incomparable.

God is not one of guilt or to-do lists. He is a God of relationships. More than a 3 hour bible study, a long and eloquent prayer, or even serving others, he just wants you.

What does your “imperfect quiet time” look like. What works best for you?

To the me 10 years ago

I just read this book, “What Alice forgot” The quick summary is this: The main character, Alice, falls, hits her head, and when she wakes up she thinks she is 10 years younger. She doesn’t even know the children she had in the past 10 years, and mostly she doesn’t even know herself. Her relationships, choices, and lifestyle are completely foreign to her.

The book is fiction but it certainly made me think. What if the me, 10 years ago woke up in my life today. Would she like what she saw? Would she be happy with the choices I made? 10 Years ago I had just graduated college. I was not yet married and, in retro spec, my life was very self centered.

That’s me in the orange sweater 10 years ago with my 3 best buds.

I can imagine the old me would be absolutely shocked to find out:

-You no longer shop just to shop….like ever. Actually you kinda hate it now.
-You have no idea what is going on in pop culture
-You go in public with no make up and yoga pants and think nothing of it
-You cook. And no longer just as a means of survival but you actually enjoy it
-You have a garden….no really to do. You even teach gardening classes. Nuts right?
-You just made a batch of homemade lotion. I know you probably just fell over in shock with that… but for real. It turned out quite nice too. Recipe here.

Ok old me I know you think I have become a complete and total domestic hippy. But I have also learned a lot in 10 years. Here’s a few life lessons I wish I could have told the younger me:

-Stop trying so hard! Sheesh I am exhausted remembering how hard you worked to make everyone love you. It’s an impossible task! The people that do love you know the real you. And the real you isn’t so bad.

-Related…stop being so insecure. You will one day have this crazy thing called a blog where you will talk about how everyone is created perfectly imperfect… after a while you start to truly believe this.

-There were so many little things that worried you. You have come a LONG way with your worry. The biggest lesson is LIFE IS TEMPORARY. We are never promised tomorrow so enjoy the current moment and don’t let worry steal it away.

-Enjoy the time with your husband before you have kids. You will find it comical that you ever thought life was busy before them.

-When you are a new mom and you are worried like crazy every decision you make will impact your children for the rest of their life…GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. Children are resilient. They grow by your model more than your teaching. And mostly…they are God’ s children first. Lean on his teaching more than the latest trendy parenting advice.

-Listen to those that have been there and done that. They have really good advice. And by the way…you don’t know everything.

-With your time and your money, invest in stuff that LASTS

- And lastly…Don’t be afraid to do big things. You only get one chance at this whole thing called life.

I am curious to see what the me in the next 10 years would think of the me today. I wonder what advice she would give. I wonder what I am doing today that will positively and negatively affect my life then?

Only time will tell.

Does this make you think? What would you tell the you 10 years ago?

Headstones Don’t read job titles

Today I have the pleasure of introducing a guest blogger, my new “perfectly imperfect friend.” She writes over at, A perfect Girls’ quest for perfection. I hope you enjoy her post!

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English: Headstone on the path View over the headstones in the Howff towards Meadow side direction. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Unless you are the President or the Pope your headstone won’t show your career. I’ve never seen one that says “Great Administrative Assistant” or “Best Manager”. Your legacy is defined by the memories you make and the lives you touch, not your salary or your status. Here are my top five rules to achieving satisfying work/life balance:

Set boundaries. Let’s be honest, you can’t really be all things to all people. I had to set boundaries with work, family and friends. Unless there’s a hot project I have a cutoff time for work. I have boundaries for personal obligations as well. Instead of working twelve-hour days while trying to take care of home, exercise, volunteer, and spend time with family and friends, I had to create a schedule…and stick to it!

Prioritize. Know that there are days when work and life won’t balance. It’s ok. At the end of the day knowing what it takes to make you happy and making that a priority will make you a much happier person. I found mine in #3.

Disconnect. Being able to check out, if only for a brief time, is most relaxing. Everyday at 4pm I walk outside the office for about 15 minutes. I usually go alone and leave the BlackBerry on the desk. I’m sure the world can survive without me for 15 minutes. When I return I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated. The day goes faster and I have that boost of energy to carry out my personal responsibilities.

“No” is an acceptable answer. Oftentimes we will accept any and all requests knowing there aren’t enough hours in the day to fulfill all of them. Declining a request doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes you have to look out for you and make no apologies for it.

Do what makes you happy. Figure out what makes you happy and fulfilled and do it as often as possible. I enjoy catching up with my friends. The great part about that is my friends are athletic like me so not only do we get to hang out, but we also try some new workout craze. I look forward to it and it keeps me going until our next outing.

We all have to establish the rules that work best for our lifestyle. Though my rules don’t always work in perfect harmony, they are always the driving force in my daily decisions. I challenge you to set five goals to live by for your work/life balance.

To connect with Jasmine you can check her out on her blog. thanks Jasmine!

Social Media and the view of “perfect”

Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook, read a few tweets, or read a blog of someone’s “perfect life” and felt a little inadequate?

It’s not like anyone means any harm. The very idea of social media is to share updates and highlights of our life. We are fascinated by it! We even follow stars we don’t personally know to read and see their last post.

We highlight the good, fun, and interesting part of our day.

Take for example, this picture I took the other day and posted to instagram.

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An outdoor picnic on a beautiful day with two sweet girls. Awww isn’t it sweet? And it was…at this particular moment.

What I DIDN’T post was 10 minutes before that when our youngest peed in her pants. Or when our oldest exclaimed how this was the best idea ever…until a mosquito bit her and it instantly turned into the “worst idea ever”.

Scrolling through my recent feed you can also find pictures of the hubs and I on a date, some DIY projects we have done in the kitchen, my recent batch of canned tomatoes, and of course, cute pics of the kids. And then it hit me….EUREKA!! It almost looks like I have it all together! This is not good! I have a blog called imperfect people for crying out loud! And then I laughed hysterically knowing how I am truly far from perfect.

What you WON’T find on my feed is pics of hubs and I in an argument, the flaws and frustrations in our DIY projects, the huge mess that was our kitchen after canning tomatoes, and when the kids are driving us to the funny farm.

The problem is, We compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

The truth is, my reality is messy, unorganized, without makeup, designer clothes, famous names or places. My typical uniform consists of a T shirt, faded shorts, no make up and a ponytail. In fact I typically look like a college student that just rolled out of bed (that is prematurely aging). I can’t possibly keep a clean house no matter how hard I try, and every time I think I am spiritually “mature” I am knocked down realizing how much I really, I mean REALLY need Jesus in every part of my life.

What I am coming to realize is EVERYONE feels this way. I know now behind the scenes of even the most “perfect post” are often far less than perfect. Reality is what makes us…well REAL!! It makes us who we are and who we are created to be.

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Emily from, Remodeling this life, says: I am learning each and every day that we all struggle with these things when we see other people’s lives. Is it just what we do –stuff down the bad stuff and put on a happy face? At least focusing on the happy face and the good stuff at the end of each day reminds that in the middle of all the bad, imperfect parts of me and my life, there is good to celebrate.

It’s a good reminder that we all have something worth sharing.

Celebrate with your friends their triumphs and journeys, but don’t compare yourself! It’s a trap that we can never escape.

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We all have a mess behind the camera (often times literally when taking a picture of the house!!)

I am certainly not suggesting we share the less than perfect times in our lives but certainly DON’T stop sharing the good stuff!

Social media is a wonderful thing. I almost forgot how we got along without it! But it is merely a glimpse at each other’s life. Reality if often much different. Even when reality isn’t great, sharing the few nuggets of “awesome” in your day make you, and all your friends smile. And with that…my latest post:

I’m off to eat some “perfection!”

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When you are not in control..on worry

It has been a crazy couple of months. I wrote about our terrifying adventure to the hospital with Hannah. In addition my husband had a skin cancer removed from his nose ,and I found I out I have a genetic condition that makes my body hold on to more iron than it should.
I kinda freaked out
I know Christians are supposed to no worry, we should rest easy knowing that God is in complete control. But my faith can be so weak.

I think I am driving everyone around me (especially my poor husband) absolutely crazy with my worry.
What if they didn’t get all of the skin cancer from Bryan’s nose? What if I eat too much red meat (loaded with iron)? And don’t even get me started with all the worry I have been doing over Hannah’s exposure to too many X-rays from her skull fracture.

During the middle of all this I have a dear friend who sent me this scripture:

A huge storm came up. Waves poured into the boat, threatening to sink it. And Jesus was in the stern, head on a pillow, sleeping!
They roused him, saying, “Teacher, is it nothing to you that we’re going down?”
Awake now, he told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass. Jesus reprimanded the disciples: “Why are you such cowards? Don’t you have any faith at all?”
They were in absolute awe, staggered. “Who is this, anyway?” they asked. “Wind and sea at his beck and call!” Mark 4:35

“This is so amazing to me. There was a huge storm. The disciples all thought the worst, they were (like me) FREAKING. And what was Jesus doing?? SLEEPING.

While I am thinking, “JESUS!!! Wake up!!! What in the world is going on!!?? Do something!!”

He is saying, “BE STILL Don’t you have any faith? I am in COMPLETE control here. This event is no surprise to me. The storm will pass, you are in good hands”

The storms are not fun. But they are inevitable. They come and they go, some are strong and terrifying and some are light.

Storms get in the way of “our plans” and are usually very unwelcome.

If you’re like me you try to “control” the storm. After Hannah’s fall I am still a little skittish. I have seriously considered constructing a giant hamster wheels for our kids to live in where they would be protected from life. I’m sure they would be socially adapted don’t you think?

As crazy as that would be, it is just as crazy to think I am in any type of control of the storms of life. I have two options:

1)Live in fear of every possible storm: Lay in bed at night playing out worse case scenario. (not that I have ever done this…just sayin.)

2)Let my fears BE STILL: Rest knowing that I am NOT in control. Take joy knowing I am promised an eternity with Christ no matter the length of my life. And enjoy the present.

Most days I am NOT in a storm but worry is stealing the joy of the present.
Jesus knows what he is talking about when he said,

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34 (FYI this is one of the most searched verses in the bible…good to know I’m not the only one).

Jesus took on the pain of fear and worry(and anything else you struggle with) 2000 years ago. He painfully nailed them to a cross so we wouldn’t have to feel them anymore.

Thank you Jesus for such an amazing gift. And thank you for this present moment, where everything in life is just right. Let me enjoy this day, and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Love
Katie
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Hmmmm maybe I was wrong about that

I used to think I knew everything about everything…until I was no longer a teenager.
I used to think I knew everything about marriage…until I got married.
I used to think I knew everything about parenting…until I had kids.
I used to think people that left their grocery carts in the middle of the parking lot were terrible citizens…until I brought two kids with me to the grocery store and parked no where close to the cart return.
I used to think stay at home moms had an easy job….until I was one.
I used to run several miles a day…until I didn’t
I used to watch One tree hill…. I have no excuse for this.
I used to kill “impossible to kill” houseplants… now I teach gardening classes.
I used to think tree huggers were weirdoes…now I guess I am one.

I used to think 30 was old.
I used to think a brushed out perm, braces and glamor shots were a good idea

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When I look back realizing how much I have learned in my 32 years I realize I still have MUCH more to learn. We all learn from our mistakes, adventures, and success.

Mother Teresa said “When you judge people you have no room left to love them.”

May I show grace because so much grace has been shown to me. May I never judge without walking a mile in their shoes.

People grow, learn and change. Be encouraged to LEARN from generations before you. Give yourself and others grace as we figure out this ride called life. And NEVER get glamor shots with a brushed out perm

If at first you don’t succeed (or get laughed at…)

The Rolling Stones performed their first United States college act on May 4, 1965 at my alma mater, Georgia Southern University. The opening act reportedly “saved the show” as the Rolling stones were reported “easily forgotten.”

Abraham Lincoln almost never won an election until he was elected to the white house.

Walt Disney decided on a career as a newspaper artist, drawing political caricatures or comic strips. But nobody wanted to hire him as either an artist or even as an ambulance driver for that matter.

Elvis Presley only failed one class in school, and it was music class.

In 1987 George Foreman was a 38 year old man who hadn’t boxed for 10 years. He was 70+ pounds overweight and literally laughed at when he made a comeback for a charity fight. Seven years later, he was the Heavyweight champion of the word.

Actors Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood were fired after co-starring in the “Riverboat” television series. Burt, recalled, “They said I had no talent and Clint’s Adam’s apple was too big,”

International singing star Julio Iglesias was discouraged from singing when he was a teenager. When he auditioned for the school choir in Madrid he was turned down. The teacher told him he couldn’t carry a tune.

Lucille Ball got thumbs down when it came to acting. Just one month after she started attending the American Academy of Dramatic Arts her mother received a letter from the school saying, “Don’t put any more money into this. This girl will never make it.” (source)

In a high school art class, his teacher insisted “you will never learn to draw, Theodore (a.k.a Dr. Seues). Why don’t you just skip this class for the rest of the term.” Later, he would reflect on this moment stating “I’ve capitalized on my mistakes, since I can’t draw, I’ve taken the awkwardness and peculiarities of my natural style and developed them. That’s why my characters look that way.”

Before I created you in the womb
I knew you; before you were born I set you apart; Jeremiah 1:5

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous! Psalm 139:14

You are made in the image of God. Perfectly imperfect and made for a purpose that ONLY you can do! Don’t let judgment get in the way. You are a precious child of God created to do great things!

You may never be the king of rock and roll, have your own sitcom, or write dozens of books, but you are PERSONALLY known by the KING OF THE UNIVERSE!

He not only knows your name, He knows every hair on your head. You are famous to our God! The angels rejoice over you! You are a masterpiece created by a God who doesn’t make mistakes.

In the words of Tenth Avenue North:

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Confessions

My desk is swimming in paper.
I just cleaned off the master bathroom counter for the first time in way too long.
I am a hypochondriac and have self diagnosed myself with every thing web MD has to offer.
I text more than a teenage girl who just saw Justin Beiber at the mall.
I just realized I never sent my grandmother a thank you note from Christmas. (that one is pretty bad)
I think I need more sleep than the average person.
I am rarely on time for anything, especially when I am going somewhere with both kids.
Right now my garden looks like a hot mess:
I am slightly obsessed with Kisses from Katie
I have friends that think I eat all organic. Excuse me while I wipe the chips off my face.
I made an A in college calculus yet I need a calculator for simple math
I have tried to wake up early for the past two weeks to work out. Yet..see confession #6.
I used to REALLY like rap..like a lot. Now, not so much.
I HIGHLY despise cleaning toilets. We have hard water which makes it even worse.
My kids are usually dressed like this:

Notice the princess dress on backwards, and the dress sweater, lounge pants and boots 5 sizes too big.

Now it’s your turn! They say it’s good for the soul ya know!? What do you want to confess today?

Help me not feel so weird!

I have no idea what I’m doing

I have no idea what I’m doing with a blog.

I am not a writer or journalist by any stretch of the imagination. I once had a post that mentioned “angles” (as in triangles) instead of “angels” (as in spiritual being). I can’t honestly remember why this seemed like a good idea to start with.

With one silly post almost a year and a half ago this blog started. At first I was UBER excited about it. I annoyed all my friends until they subscirbed. And now I secretly get really embarassed anytime a friend mentiones she read it.

This past Christmas I converted everything to a word press…which was kinda like having my teeth drilled with no anesthetic…only much longer and more annoying. Word press is great, I just, well, have no idea what I’m doing. 935 Google crawl errors later, I seriously considered just quietly closing up shop.

Then God confirmed what to do in a way I certainly didn’t expect.

In one week I had two strangers take the time to email me to let me know something they read here made a difference in their life.

If God can use a girl who can’t spell, writes sporadically, and lights up Google’s error logs like a Christmas tree…then my friend He can use you too!

Thank you for taking the time to read, the sweet people that share it with their friends, and your patience as I try to figure out what in the world I am doing

We all have junk

If you have ever seen a plane flying over head you might notice from a distance it looks beautiful. Strong, steady, and powerful. The plane looks light as air as it floats among the clouds. However if you have ever actually been a passenger on a plane it isn’t always as smooth and steady as it appears from afar. There is turbulence, the clouds are not as soft as they look, and if you have ever gone through a storm….let me just say lots of talking to Jesus going on in that situation.

The point is from afar many people seem to be smooth, steady, and put together. Their marriage is perfect, their kids never misbehave, they have complete control of their finances, and they are extremely talented and good at everything you are not. But inside that persons life there is “turbulence.” I guarantee they have struggles no matter who they are.

WE ALL HAVE JUNK. The reason I started this blog is because everywhere I go I couldn’t help notice this is such a common thread in all of our lives. We are ALWAYS comparing ourselves! I’ll say it again WE ALL HAVE JUNK but isn’t that what makes us who we are?

The friends I love the most are the ones who are “imperfect.” They are honest about where they struggle and don’t try to hide their flaws.

A dear friend told me the other day, “if someone you know appears to be perfect….they are miserable” And she knew! For years she had tried with all her might to have a spotless house, make everything from scratch and look good while doing it. She was exhausted, and frustrated.