Media Minimization March week 1 what I have learned so far

Our first true test of this whole media minimization came quickly. The second day of March was on a Saturday. It was the first Saturday in ages we had NOTHING planed.

Not a birthday party, baby shower, or a single thing on the agenda. It was FREEZING outside and we are sticking to 7 hours TOTAL of any screen time at all per WEEK. (click here for why)

Sooooo what’s a family to do?

We got creative. We went swimming under the dome at the local park, we did puzzles and went for ice cream after dinner.

I was worried the kids would rebel against the whole idea but they kind of like it. The great thing about kids is their ability to go with the flow. When the screen time is up, it’s up. And it’s time to get creative.

For me, I have had a hard time justifying what is “work” and legitimate internet time and what isn’t. So the rule obeyer in me (she’s very small but still there) decided to give up instagram and any status updates (facebook or twitter) for the month as well. Those are much more of a sacrifice for me (I miss you instagram) but in sacrifice we grow BIG time.

You know how many people have missed my updates? Let me count…..Hmmm…..ZERO. Not only can I live without social media, it can also get along just fine without me.

Bryan is limiting TV and other media as well. We have MANY more conversations in the evening without computers or TV’s to compete with. This whole experiment is way more tolerable together. We hold each other accountable too.

But it’s not all happy puzzle time and ice cream either . Media is not all bad. Here are the cons I have experienced:

1) Status updates are kinda handy. Anybody know how to fix a fridge? And if you had to pick one would you choose a trampoline or swing set for your backyard?
(updates I have wanted to post lately)

2) I don’t take near as many pictures. I never realized it but I was taking pictures mostly for social media purposes. Please humor me and tell me how cute this little collage is of Ava at the mall the other day. She was dancing in front of the mirror.

At the end of the day this teeny tiny, hardly mentionable “sacrifice” helps remind me of the millions of people who have so much less than me.

Everyday, several times a day, when I stop myself from thumbing through my phone, I am reminded of HOW MUCH we have. We are blessed beyond measure. If limiting media can help remind me to enjoy the HERE and now, be present, and become less distracted…then I am all for it.

Media Minimization March

We didn’t start this whole idea with the goal of a clever title…but the 3 “m”s is kinda catchy if I do say so myself.

Have you heard of this book called “7″ by Jen Hatmaker? I’m kinda in love with it. She takes 7 areas of her life lived in excess: Food. Clothes. Spending. Media. Possessions. Waste. Stress. They spend thirty days on each topic, boiling it down to the number seven. Only eat seven foods, wear seven articles of clothing, and spend money in seven places. Eliminate use of seven media types, give away seven things each day for one month, adopt seven green habits, and observe “seven sacred pauses.”

A few months back we did stress, and observed the “seven sacred pauses”

For the month of March we are cutting back our media. Media has a way of sneaking into stealing away our life. It is very subtle but it happens everyday. We decided cutting back media is a great way to re-focus on what we value as a family…each other.

In the book, they cut out 7 different forms of media completely for the month. We decided to just cut all media back to a total of 7 hours a week.

What does this include? For us we decided “media” was anything with a screen (music is permitted). It gets a little tricky because, of course, a computer is how we both work. But thanks to a handy site called rescue time it will automatically track where we spend our time online. And true work will not count toward the 7 hours.

I almost choked on the air when my husband originally suggested we use our phones as just PHONES. We have only had smart phones for about a year but I seriously think my iphone is as magnificent as disney world and cheesecake all wrapped into one.

Ultimately we decided it was impractical NOT to use all of the handy things a smart phone lets you check, but it would all count toward our 7 hours per week. Toggl is an app that will keep me accountable there.

And of course TV. I’m not much of a TV fan but the rest of our family is. Cutting back on the TV for the kids means more work on us but I am really excited about all the alternatives we will discover with the default of TV gone from the line up.

I originally thought 7 hours was a generous plenty (about 1 hour per day) but when you start to time ALL YOUR MEDIA into one hour…it’s not that much.

So far..it is going surprisignly better than expected. I am learning a lot but that is for another post. For now…my time is nearly up.

Have you every had a media fast/minimiztion? What did you think?

Life lessons and temper tantrums

It was bed time and I was trying to get two little girls dressed for bed. Ava, our spit fire 3 year old, was determined to wear her tinker bell nightgown this particular evening. Which is all fine and good except that tinker bell night gown is sleeveless and it was 30 degrees outside.

She stammered her foot down with all the passion of a 3 year old that needs some sleep and yelled, “I WANT TINKER-BELL!” Then proceeded to cry as she threw her self on the floor.

Can you picture this scene? She is adamant that the tinker bell night gown is what she “needed” that night. She thought she knew what was best.

As her mother, I try not to bust out laughing at the drama scene. I wait until she is done, then explain why a long sleeve night gown is a better choice. If she is still locked in on the tinker bell, I can let her get her way and freeze all night long, or hold her down kicking and screaming while I put on a warm pajamas.

I wonder how often our heavenly father sees the same scene in my life. I am headstrong and SURE I want one thing, but God always knows better.

Sometimes he lets my bull headed opinions win out and I am stuck with the unpleasant consequences.

But sometimes, as a loving father, he puts up with my kicking and screaming, my impractical arguments and immature reasons. He “dresses me warmly” even when I am too stubborn to realize it is what I need.

Sometimes I realize his good decision and sometimes I don’t, but I am learning more and more His ways are higher than my ways. I just have to have a little faith.

Has this been a familiar scene in your life? What have your children taught you about our Heavenly father?

Social Media and the view of “perfect”

Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook, read a few tweets, or read a blog of someone’s “perfect life” and felt a little inadequate?

It’s not like anyone means any harm. The very idea of social media is to share updates and highlights of our life. We are fascinated by it! We even follow stars we don’t personally know to read and see their last post.

We highlight the good, fun, and interesting part of our day.

Take for example, this picture I took the other day and posted to instagram.

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An outdoor picnic on a beautiful day with two sweet girls. Awww isn’t it sweet? And it was…at this particular moment.

What I DIDN’T post was 10 minutes before that when our youngest peed in her pants. Or when our oldest exclaimed how this was the best idea ever…until a mosquito bit her and it instantly turned into the “worst idea ever”.

Scrolling through my recent feed you can also find pictures of the hubs and I on a date, some DIY projects we have done in the kitchen, my recent batch of canned tomatoes, and of course, cute pics of the kids. And then it hit me….EUREKA!! It almost looks like I have it all together! This is not good! I have a blog called imperfect people for crying out loud! And then I laughed hysterically knowing how I am truly far from perfect.

What you WON’T find on my feed is pics of hubs and I in an argument, the flaws and frustrations in our DIY projects, the huge mess that was our kitchen after canning tomatoes, and when the kids are driving us to the funny farm.

The problem is, We compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

The truth is, my reality is messy, unorganized, without makeup, designer clothes, famous names or places. My typical uniform consists of a T shirt, faded shorts, no make up and a ponytail. In fact I typically look like a college student that just rolled out of bed (that is prematurely aging). I can’t possibly keep a clean house no matter how hard I try, and every time I think I am spiritually “mature” I am knocked down realizing how much I really, I mean REALLY need Jesus in every part of my life.

What I am coming to realize is EVERYONE feels this way. I know now behind the scenes of even the most “perfect post” are often far less than perfect. Reality is what makes us…well REAL!! It makes us who we are and who we are created to be.

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Emily from, Remodeling this life, says: I am learning each and every day that we all struggle with these things when we see other people’s lives. Is it just what we do –stuff down the bad stuff and put on a happy face? At least focusing on the happy face and the good stuff at the end of each day reminds that in the middle of all the bad, imperfect parts of me and my life, there is good to celebrate.

It’s a good reminder that we all have something worth sharing.

Celebrate with your friends their triumphs and journeys, but don’t compare yourself! It’s a trap that we can never escape.

photo credit

We all have a mess behind the camera (often times literally when taking a picture of the house!!)

I am certainly not suggesting we share the less than perfect times in our lives but certainly DON’T stop sharing the good stuff!

Social media is a wonderful thing. I almost forgot how we got along without it! But it is merely a glimpse at each other’s life. Reality if often much different. Even when reality isn’t great, sharing the few nuggets of “awesome” in your day make you, and all your friends smile. And with that…my latest post:

I’m off to eat some “perfection!”

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Personal testimoney of love and loss through infertility and adoption Bessie’s story:

I am honored to share with you, my dear friend, Bessie’s story. She has been such a picture of Jesus to me and everyone around her as she has walked through the painful and beautiful road of love and loss through infertility, pregnancy, and adoption. Here is God’s story, in Bessie Cameron:

I’ve always had a heart for children, a desire to one day be a Mom was in my heart since I was much younger. When I married, my husband and I battled infertility. During this time when we kept trying to use medical technology to start a family, we also felt led to become foster parents. Our lives were touched by several beautiful children we had in our home, in October 2009 we were able to adopt our first child, Leila Bess. Just prior to her adoption, we also FINALLY achieved a pregnancy thru in vitro fertilization (IVF)! It was more than we ever dreamed! We were blessed with a precious new baby AND I was pregnant! But at 20 weeks devastation occurred. My body went into labor far too early and we lost our precious son, Jameson. Over the next two years we took a break from medical treatments and prayed about God’s plan for our family. We still had many embryos frozen, and we were not sure whether IVF or maybe another option like surrogacy or adoption was our calling. We even had a dear friend offer to carry the baby!

Towards the end of this time we gave a few more attempts at IVF- many that had to be canceled due to my adenomyosis, and we had two failed transfers.

We decided to take another break and really pray about the will of God in our lives and for our family. During this time I read the inspiring story- Kisses from Katie. We discussed it and prayed nightly. That’s when Gods will was clear to my husband and I…adoption. It was a way we could help out an unborn baby, a woman with an unplanned pregnancy, and expand our family. We did a home study and spread the word amongst friends and family.

Within a few months we found a young woman who needed us. She was all alone in her pregnancy with no support. We began walking with her and helping give her our support and leading her to resources. I knew all along that there was always a chance she could change her mind, but I felt we were walking with her and that we were right where God wanted us to be. I knew He would be faithful.

Lily was born in late May; I cut the cord after helping the mother, with my sweet friend who agreed to be her Doula, through an all night labor. We took Lily home and were thrilled to have a new addition into our family. We loved on sweet Lily for 12 days and then the unimaginable happened: the birth mother texted me to tell me she had changed her mind.

She wanted to parent Lily. I lost it, and I panicked! I was filled with fear. I thought and said things I shouldn’t. There was some question as to whether the change of heart had come too late for us to have to legally return her. Some people advised us to fight for her, saying it would be in her best interest in the long run. After several days of meeting with counselors, the birthmother, and consulting with Godly friends, I realized what we needed to do.

During one of those early morning feedings I examined the word of God, the ultimate resource for all of life’s problems, for how to handle disagreements and whether going to court was the right answer. I knew all along the right answer, and in retrospect I know that the reason I knew it was because the Holy Spirit resides in me. That night I read of kindness, forgiveness, and I knew what the next painful steps would be. At the same park where we first met, 2 months prior, we gave our precious Lily back to her mother. Not only was this a devastating loss emotionally, but financially as well. We lost the baby we thought was ours, but we also lost the money invested in lawyers, counselors, travel and other expenses. Much of that was not refunded. Not only that, I was worried we would not be able to now afford another adoption.

A week past and I returned home to Florida. I got a text from a dear friend asking if I had read her emails and texts and what I thought about this new situation. I went back and read them and couldn’t believe my eyes! When I had asked her to pray for us in the midst of our crisis- she had responded that God may already be moving. There was another baby!

She was to be born exactly 1 month after Lily’s due date. My husband and I prayed about it, and decided we would again open our hearts and our home. This birthmother needed us even more, and was so grateful for us to adopt her baby girl. Baby Libby Grace was born on July 4, 2012.

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She has been in our arms ever since! The birth mother signed over her rights in the hospital. I have hesitated to tell our story, because until recently we were still waiting to see if the possible birthfather had registered to claim paternity. He did not! After this there will be several other formal steps of adoption to go through before it is final. We look forward to that day, when we know for sure she is ours to keep!

We’ve built our family through adoption and have been blessed beyond belief! We are so grateful for the support and encouragement we’ve found in friends and family along the journey! It is so worth it!!

Thank you Bessie for sharing your beautiful life story with us. I am excited there is a fun (and stylish) way we can help support Bessie’s family through their journey of adoption! These adoption tee’s sell for $15. ALL PROCEEDS go to help support domestic adoption!

100% cotton tee designed by Catalyst Promotions. The front reads: “Love makes a family” and the back reads, “I didn’t give you life, but life gave me the gift of you” Support Adoption. You know you want one!

Sizes

Capturing 2

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Our precious Ava turns 3 today! Her baby curls are growing out and her legs are growing long, loosing their cute little chubby nature. As much as I think I will never forget the cute little things she says and does time passes and many things are quickly forgotten. Here is my best attempt at Capturing Two!

Dear Ava, Our full of personality little girl. You love to follow your sister everywhere she goes, yet you are independent to the core. You spend at least half an our a day putting you baby dolls to bed, checking on them, “reading” them a story…then…they are awake!

You say funny things like Pepper-minuite for pepermint. Your favorite place in our house is behind the recliner. Yesterday I cleaned up crayons. goldfish, a calculator, and all your pajamas stuffed in a bookbag.

I think it’s just a ploy to stay awake longer but most nights when we put you to bed you say, “Wait!! I need to give my sister some love!” And I think it’s too cute to say no. It’s better than your earlier “two’s” when you would take all of your clothes off when you were supposed to be sleeping. We put your zipped up (footless) sleepers on backwards, where they to fix that…one time you still got out of it.

You make us laugh with your determination to wear crazy things and think it’s perfectly normal.

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You are a mini-me in so many ways. You don’t mind getting dirty digging up worms in the garden yet you are often spotted cleaning the floor with a baby wipe. No one can tell you what to do (a good and bad trait). And you love taking care of people.

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Precious Ava, you are such a gift. Your dad and I love your silly ways and your gentle spirit. Happy Birthday sweet girl!
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Mark Driscoll’s “Real Marriage” and having a plan for your life

One thing I have learned for sure is you don’t just gradually drift to where you want to be in life. You must have a plan, vision and direction. You must be proactive instead of reactive.

Our family this summer

Summertime is in full swing at our house, here is what we are up to:

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Gardening!

Most evenings, after the girls are asleep and the heat of the day has passed, I am outside with a good pair of gardening gloves and my iPod. My tomatoes are doing great but I have been fighting off the slugs on my okra, peppers, and melons.

Bargains!

This time of year there are some super fun yard sales.

I found a beautiful bolt of wavily fabric that will soon be curtains for our bedroom (thanks to a mom that can sew) There were at least 20 yards on the bolt that I got for a total of $5..oh yea

Kids

We just got a fabulous little hand-me-down play house. The girls love it! When it’s too hot to play outside I highly recommend Toca Boca games!

Me and the hubs

We just had a great little getaway to Atlanta, went to a concert on the lawn at North Point, and got to have some good conversation thanks to Mark Driscolls bo ok, Real Marriage.

(more on that later)

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Other random news:

One of our favorite girls is moving. She lived with us for a few months last semester and we just fell in love with her. Our “adopted daughter” as we call her, is moving to Atlanta to get her doctorate in psychology. We are so proud but super bummed she will live so far away.

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We eat a lot of boiled peanuts and watermelon (preferably together)

We are getting new neighbors that have a little girl!!

I am currently reading, “7” by Jen Hatmaker and I LOVE it.

What is your family up to this summer?

To my mom on mother’s Day

I don’t think I ever knew how much my mom loved me until I had kids of my own.

My mom is pretty amazing. She won’t let me spend money on her for mother’s day but I can at least tell her how much I appreciate her!

She drops everything and drives 3 hours to help if I need her.

She has an amazing ability to rid stains from our kids clothes.

She has TONS of energy. I thought I was an energizer bunny but I think she has me beat.

She never pays full price for anything.

She LOVES to watch our kids (both of them) for a week at a time…AND take them to theme parks…both of them…Yea it’s pretty awesome.

Our girls think she is the coolest

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And I have to agree

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Happy Mother’s day mom!

What our 4 yr old taught me about the scary stuff

There is this really annoying yet oh so true verse in James that reads, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” James 2:1

I recently had a first hand experience as an amazing 4 year old girl helped me to find joy in the trails.

It started as a fun evening dip in the kiddy pool. The girls best friends and next door neighbors had come to join us.

Then we headed to the back porch for popsicles. Hannah and her best friend Amy were sharing a chair. I was right there beside them. I must have been watching the younger two when all of a sudden I hear a SMACK on the concrete slab. Hannah had for some reason stood up in the chair to reach for something, lost her balance and fell on her head.

We immediately called the after hours nurse. While I was on the phone with the nurse hannah started getting very sleepy, then she vomited. The nurse said she would have the doctor call me. A few minutes later the doctor called and told us to let her sleep, if she vomited several hours after the event it was probably something more serious and she needed to go to the ER.

Two hours later (9pm) I woke her up, she answered all our questions, seemed fine and went back to bed. At 11 pm, she got sick again. We called the nurse back and she said we should go to the ER.

Bryan insisted I stay and get some rest and he would take her. I was nervous but I knew he would take good care of her. At 1 am he called me to let me know some very scary news. Hannah had a skull fracture and her brain was bleeding. They wanted to transfer her to a more capable hospital an hour away.

I think I went into shock. I only had that experience once before when I was in a car wreck in college. I started FREEZING and shivering like crazy. I packed my bags, woke up Ava, and got to the hospital all in about 10 minutes.

Bryan took Ava back home and I got in the back of an ambulance beside our baby girl to travel to the hospital. This was my sweet but scary view:

I know this picture looks scary but she was not unconscious. She was just trying to sleep it was around 1 am after all.

My emotions were going crazy, I was on adrenaline overload, I wanted to cry and throw up but I know I had to be there for her. In this time, when I needed it most, Hannah taught me something precious.

I leaned over and asked, “What do you think about all this Hannah?”

“This is cool!!” she responded. My nerves were immediately calmed.

When we arrived at the hospital the doctors were talking back and forth about fractures and bleeding and all this scary stuff. All I could do was watch. Hannah sweetly and calmly answered all of the nurses questions. She obediently lifted her arms, moved her legs and did everything they asked her to do. She had the staff fall in love with her. Nurses were bringing stickers and any type of goody they could find.

After a few hours of test, poking, and prodding it was silent in our little section of the ER. And Hannah was finally able to get some much needed sleep.

At about 6am we finally got a room. She was first admitted to ICU

But she was doing so great we got a regular room that same day.

The doctor said her injuries would not require surgery and she would be totally fine!!!

We had to stay in the hospital a total of two night but our amazing little trooper is now home. Besides getting sleepy early she is acting totally normal. Our only problem now is trying to convince her to take it easy!!

It was quite a journey. Today you never would have guessed our little trooper was in the hospital just a few days ago.

So what has the scary experience taught me?

1) I have a whole new respect for parents of children with major illness. We saw so many children facing much larger giants than a skull fracture. I passed by this mom wearing a shirt that said, “My son is my hero” When your watch your baby go through such things…I get it now.

2) We have AMAZING friends. We had so many people reach out to us during this scary time. I now know how important it is and will make sure I am more intentional about checking up on people in the hospital.

3) The little things matter: Child life specialist, a job I hardly knew existed are some of the most amazing people on the planet. Their job is to help kids feel more comfortable in the hospital. They answer children’s questions about being in the hospital, then ask her about her favorite toys. A few moments later they come back with toys!!! They are priceless! This made Hannah, and mama, grin from ear to ear. I could go on and on about what a wonderful impact they made while we were there.

On a side note there were also two retired men who came around every friday doing magic tricks for the kids. They humbly said they do this because they can only play golf so much…but they make more of an impact than they know. I am telling everyone who will listen about how happy these two groups made us feel.

4) God made our bodies as incredible machines: Hannah had a skull fracture with internal bleeding. It sounds very scary, yet outside of some pain and anti-nausea meds there is not much doctors can do. Her precious little head will heal on it’s own, good as new. I’m impressed God.

5) Hospital food isn’t so bad

6) Family members freak out when you call at 6am

7) It takes a while for your body to “de-stress” I have been doing lots of deep breathing the past few days.

8) I am not in control. While part of me wants to construct a giant hamster wheel for her to live in protected from everything around her. I know that is not feasible. She is God’s daughter before she was mine.

This is something I never would have wanted, and never want again, but God always uses these situations. I have learned a lot. And this little girl…is my hero: